Sexuality and U
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Sexual Health

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Talking to Parents about Sex

We all have questions about sex. Some are based on curiosity, some are based on fear and some are based on pure anticipation! And though you may know some people your own age who think they have all the answers about sex, they probably don’t. To be honest, many adults haven’t got it all figured out either.

So, who can you go to for answers? Ever think about talking to your parents about sex? They may not have all the answers, but they’re great resources on sex because they have definitely been there - you’re living proof of that. And in the rare case that they don’t have the answer to your question, there’s a good chance they’ll know where to find it.

You may be contemplating having sex for the first time, debating back and forth about how to handle your sexual feelings. There are a lot of aspects to consider first. You have to weigh your morals and emotions carefully and then decide what you really want…and remember, the decision is permanent - there’s no way to “un-have” sex. And even though your parents may just want to scream “nooo!”, it’s only because they love you and have your best interests and your health in mind.

In the end, you’re old enough to know that, good or bad, you’re going to have to live with your decisions. What you choose to do is your call, but it’s a good idea to really think it through, and talk to a few people about the way you feel before you decide on anything.

You may feel that your parents’ values and attitudes are a bit stricter than your own. You may just chalk this up to “old age,” but they may also have some valuable reasons for feeling the way they do. Believe it or not, but questioning authority and the reasons for doing things is a sign that you’re growing up. A simple, “because I said so” is usually enough to convince young kids to do something a certain way, but you’re older and you need to know why things are done.

But remember, just because you don’t necessarily agree with everything your parents have to say, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re wrong. And you might be surprised just how open your parents are about talking about sex.

Just tell your parents that you want to talk about sex, or try these line to “back into” a conversation about sex:

  • “We’re going to be talking about sex in school this year, but I don’t really know that much about it.”
  • “We talked about sex in class today. I learned a lot of really interesting things.”
  • “I heard some kids talking about sex today. They said that…(mention something you want to know about sex)...is that true?”

See where these take you. Your parents may be totally into talking about sex with you. But make sure you catch them at a good time, like when they’re relaxing on the couch, not when they’re just about to leave for work.